I guess I should inlink even if I'm only referring back to my previous post when continuing a story. Let me clarify.

"Break up" [inlink]twisted,326[/inlink] was a exaggeration. Here's the whole timeline:

Sunday 9PM: I respond to a m4w post on craigslist
Sunday 10PM: after a few rounds of email we decide to meet for a drink
Monday 6-8:30PM: aforementioned drinks, as described here [inlink]twisted,325[/inlink]

Here's exactly what happened after that. He sent me the following email from his "real" email account (previously he had used a generic account - common practice on craigslist before you meet face to face):

"It was fun to meet you. If you're really interested please send me your # so I can call you."

I responded, also switching to my real email account:

Hi John. It was great meeting you last night. It's uncanny how much we have in common - especially considering we met through craigslist.

From your ad I know you're looking for love and a LTR. I really enjoyed hanging out together and would be into doing that again. But I don't feel the kind of connection to be dating each other. I don't mean to make what may seem like a premature determination, but I've been putting off sending my reply for that reason, so I wanted to be upfront about it. Anyway, I do like you and would be interested in doing stuff together. Some guys who are looking for a LTR only want to focus on that. You don't seem like that type, but with your limited social time I could totally understand if you wanted to reserve it for finding that special someone and spending time with your current friends. But if you ever want to do something together, give me a call or send me an email!

Lisa
(with my phone number)


His reply:

Lisa,

Thanks for the nice note, I appreciate your candor. Yes, I am interested in meeting someone with an intimate relationship as the end goal.

That being said, I did enjoy meeting you and you seem very cool and together and I could see getting together from time to time for some laughs. Who knows we might introduce each other to the perfect mate! And as far as I know yo can't have enough friends.

So promise to call me if there is something going on or youre in the neighborhood and I'll do the same.

John

My point about screwing and chemistry is this. I would much prefer chemistry and good conversation any day of the week. That's ultimately what I'm looking for. But the difference I've seen between women and men is, even if there's no chemistry some guys will screw you until they get bored. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but don't be surprised when the chick is pissed six weeks later when you then tell her you're breaking up because there's no chemistry. Can you guys get that, or no? I thought it was pretty simple. It would be better to say upfront "I really don't see us together long term, but I could sure use a good fuck if you're up for it." See what I'm saying?

On the flip side, if there's chemistry but no conversation, hopefully at some point you both come to the same realization. But I agree if I ended up screwing someone I couldn't see having a certain rapport with, I should probably say something upfront about that too. Unfortunately that hasn't come up for me yet. I'll keep you posted.


p.s. -

Just so you know I'm not out to lambaste the male of the species (if that were the case I would have properly categorized my post with one of the many colorful categories created by hodown - which I have been dying to use - but my damn inherent sense of diplomacy won't let me until I have just cause) here's an afterthought.

I have to correct myself about women 'typically' not screwing a guy if there's no chemistry. I have seen some women who will screw a guy just to prove to herself she's worth screwing. I have no other words of wisdom about that, just an observation.

As long as you peeps are in (e:chat) withdrawal, maybe a brief follow-up to my craigslist drama could help fill the void. Ok, maybe not, but it's all I've got.

So, my Dear John email was well-received. Then again, maybe he's on myspace right now ranting about the b!tch who dumped him before a proper chem test could even be conducted. But somehow I don't think so.

See, that's one difference between guys and girls. I just don't feel it, so I'm not going to go there. Not because he's not "the one" - I'd be happy to screw a guy I might never want to carry a conversation on with. But just because I can carry a conversation on with a guy doesn't mean I'd screw him.

In other words, it won't take me six weeks of screwing his brains out to come to the sudden realization, oh wait! there's no chemistry here! sorry!

Yeah, that could really piss a chick off. Hell hath no fury for sure.